So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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