He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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