Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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