Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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