is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I need water and some morals
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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