The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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