wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I will pee on everything he values.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
