Only a mothe r could love this liver
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
