Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
