# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
