Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i love accidental penises.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
