DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize