Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
