discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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