I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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