just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
