This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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