Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
