No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
