there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
