just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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