I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
