Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize