we have pet lesbian snakes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
