the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
