Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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