Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
