come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
