He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
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Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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