Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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