just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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