Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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