Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
