exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
