I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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