Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
