I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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