I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have tasted many bathrooms
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
