I feel great
I just peed on a car
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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