Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you would pick up someone in the library
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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