That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
