This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
True but thats because hes a fetus.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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