We got so high we made milksteak
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
