I am midnight drunk by noon
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
