i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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