Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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