Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I am spending my child support on dildos
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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