he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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