Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if there is a rhyme for it it must be true

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  (301): if there is a rhyme for it it must be true http://tfl.nu/ckyq
  Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (423)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.

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  (+44): Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'. http://tfl.nu/zxab
  Replies (54) Good night (1798) Bad night (9859)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO

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  (847): HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO http://tfl.nu/vpr1
  Replies (34) Good night (3026) Bad night (1052)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"

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  (410): i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??" http://tfl.nu/civz
  Replies (43) Good night (984) Bad night (14838)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.

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  (602): so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes. http://tfl.nu/egav
  Replies (28) Good night (8118) Bad night (1262)
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  (530): View more from California

  He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

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  (530): He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away http://tfl.nu/6kvy
  Replies (20) Good night (1209) Bad night (5763)
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  (714): View more from California

  im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me

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  (714): im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me http://tfl.nu/k37i
  Replies (8) Good night (3501) Bad night (716)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.

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  (440): The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right. http://tfl.nu/kh4m
  Replies (5) Good night (1848) Bad night (684)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?

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  (918): I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her? http://tfl.nu/6frm
  Replies (35) Good night (1239) Bad night (3244)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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  (914): I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/ryf1
  Replies (6) Good night (562) Bad night (977)
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  (415): View more from California

  I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.

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  (415): I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame. http://tfl.nu/5rwn
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (459)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements

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  (727): Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements http://tfl.nu/wb2j
  Replies (4) Good night (472) Bad night (230)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.

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  (847): Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken. http://tfl.nu/xu0v
  Replies (3) Good night (484) Bad night (259)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.

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  (+61): I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip. http://tfl.nu/819n
  Replies (4) Good night (265) Bad night (443)
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  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"

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  (445): she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too" http://tfl.nu/r5oy
  Replies (2) Good night (247) Bad night (571)

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