so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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