Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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  (415): JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP http://tfl.nu/adca
  Replies (19) Good night (4109) Bad night (690)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

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  (917): He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this." http://tfl.nu/rnir
  Replies (45) Good night (1116) Bad night (6650)
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  (209): View more from California

  do you want me to make hamburgers?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i'm vegan

  (209): View more from California

  i'll put lettuce on them

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  (209): do you want me to make hamburgers? (541): i'm vegan (209): i'll put lettuce on them http://tfl.nu/hb72
  Replies (37) Good night (7771) Bad night (1154)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.

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  (902): Her vagina smelled like hockey gear. http://tfl.nu/kiqt
  Replies (39) Good night (755) Bad night (7089)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

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  (973): maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/v1t4
  Replies (40) Good night (5400) Bad night (623)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.

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  (443): Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears. http://tfl.nu/xwms
  Replies (14) Good night (1326) Bad night (4045)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos

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  (617): the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos http://tfl.nu/3hab
  Replies (11) Good night (3804) Bad night (938)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

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  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (8311) Bad night (1388)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms

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  (508): I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms http://tfl.nu/pddu
  Replies (6) Good night (3094) Bad night (1008)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

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  (541): ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack http://tfl.nu/jnxf
  Replies (7) Good night (999) Bad night (1532)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.

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  (201): Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics. http://tfl.nu/mn0a
  Replies (6) Good night (952) Bad night (645)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do

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  (614): she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do http://tfl.nu/lofb
  Replies (4) Good night (352) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.

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  (617): i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much. http://tfl.nu/n2r6
  Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?

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  (212): Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking? http://tfl.nu/s8rr
  Replies (12) Good night (1713) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We can get drunk and battle coyotes

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  (203): We can get drunk and battle coyotes http://tfl.nu/riqx
  Replies (2) Good night (339) Bad night (233)

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