Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house