so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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