sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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