two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives