I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.