The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.