Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.

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(281): View more from Texas

I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles

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(314): View more from Missouri

In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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(269): View more from Michigan

Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?

(313): View more from Michigan

death...100% death...what r u planning.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

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(+61): View more from Australia

IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.

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