I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
