She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize