i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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