Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
smell my finger.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
