My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
