Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
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I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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