There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
