i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
