im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
