he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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