He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
