so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
