I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
