Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
